Crossing
by Anasazi Darkmoon
Summary: Oneshot. Slight AU. No pairings. Jazz finds a boy on the verge of an irrevocable decision, and without hesitation, chooses to help.  After all, he may not be human himself, but that doesn't mean he can't recognize and identify with a human's pain.


**Author's Note:** Yes, I've written ANOTHER oneshot, instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Sorry about that, but the plot-bunnies have been attacking me in the weirdest of ways. Anyway, this is my first major foray into an actual Angst story, and is also my first attempt at writing Jazz. Yes, that means this story is slightly AU, as Jazz is alive for this.

**Special Thanks:** Major thanks and infinite cheesecake to Faecat, who was kind enough to beta this for me!

**Warning:** This story deals with suicide. If that sort of thing bothers you, then please hit the back button on your browser now, and save yourself the trouble of reading this. Also, if any of you out there are having any thoughts of suicide, please reconsider it. It is definitely NOT a good idea, no matter how much you're hurting. If you're having these kinds of thoughts, then please tell someone you trust, or, if nothing else, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, I wouldn't be sitting here writing stories about it, would I?

"_Thoughts/Processes"  
::Internal Comms::_

_

* * *

_He peered over the edge of the bridge, staring down through the gloom at the dark span of the river as it serenely flowed beneath him. All he had to do was step over the rail, tilt forward, then let go, and all his problems would go away forever…or so he thought. He had stepped over the rail, certainly, but now his courage seemed to have failed him, as he was unable to force himself to take the final plunge.

"_Why not? Why am I such a coward? It's not like anyone would miss me anyway…"_ A fresh wave of despair washed over him, threatening to unleash the tears he had been swallowing down for so long, and he steeled his resolve and leaned forward, only to find that he was still unable to let go.

"Why?" He hissed as fury bubbled up alongside the sorrow and pain in his heart. "Just do it, you idiot! No one cares, so just let go!"

…

Jazz zoomed down the empty street, reveling in the wind as it passed over his alt mode. He had come so close to offlining in the battle at Mission City, it had taken every bit of Ratchet's skill to save him, but the Autobot Chief Medical Officer had finally put the saboteur back together and cleared him for combat. However, after having been secluded on the base for so long Jazz had become a little claustrophobic, so Optimus Prime had given him leave to go out and patrol the nearby town to burn off some excess energy.

Though he knew that there was little danger of a Decepticon incursion while they were recovering from Megatron's demise, Jazz eagerly took the assignment and made his way through the town that had become increasingly quiet as the night passed.

When his patrol ended, he headed back toward the base; however, when he started crossing the bridge he realized there was a human standing on the wrong side of the guardrail, perilously close to falling off.

"_What's he doin'?"_ Jazz wondered, slowing down to examine the human; a thin, gawky young man around seventeen. _"If he falls from up here, he'll be offlined for sure!"_

Concerned for the boy's safety, Jazz came to a stop, generated his holoform, and let it get out and walk around, making sure to make enough noise to keep from startling him.

The boy turned and spotted him. "Don't come any closer!" He yelled as he realized Jazz was coming in his direction.

Jazz immediately stopped walking and held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Hey, I ain't gonna hurt ya, kid. I'm just wonderin' why you're out here like this, an' if ya need any help."

The young man stared at him in silence for several seconds, as if he was wondering if Jazz was crazy. "No, I don't need any help!" He shouted, his voice shaking slightly. "I need you to go away and let me die in peace!"

"Die? Ya don' look sick…"

"No, you moron! I'm not sick! I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself!" The boy screamed. Then he noticed Jazz trying to edge closer, and shrieked; "Stop moving, goddamn it!"

The saboteur immediately froze, and replied; "All right, man. Just take it easy. I just wanna talk, that's all."

"There's nothing left to talk about," the boy cried, despair radiating from him in almost palpable waves. "I just want it all to stop…so please just go away."

"I can't do that, kid," Jazz stated, shaking his head. "I'd never forgive myself if I just walked away and let ya die."

"FINE!" The young man snarled. "Stand there and watch, then! See if I give a shit!" Jazz didn't reply, so the boy turned his attention back to the empty air in front of him. Seconds passed with glacial slowness, but finally, the young man looked back at the holoform and muttered. "Turn around."

"What?"

"I can't jump with you watching, so turn around."

Jazz shook his head again. "Why do ya wanna kill yourself, anyway?"

The young man hung his head and let out a shuddering sigh. "You wouldn't understand."

"How would ya know that unless ya tell me 'bout it?" The saboteur inquired, carefully edging closer again.

The boy did not react to Jazz's movement this time, his eyes were squeezed shut. Another tense pause ensued, but he finally whimpered; "Have you ever thought you knew someone…thought they gave a damn about you…only to find out they had been lying to you the whole time?"

"Yeah, I do," Jazz sadly replied, remembering Cybertron.

The boy looked back and stared at the holoform, wide-eyed with disbelief, but then his expression crumpled, and he finally began weeping as if his heart had broken.

Jazz finally made it to where the boy was standing, solidified his holoform, and reached out to the teen. The young man let Jazz help him back over the railing, and then clung to him and sobbed brokenly on his shoulder.

"I thought she loved me," the teen wept, shaking under the sudden release of his emotions. "I thought she cared, but she was just using me! She only pretended to like me because of my grades!"

"That's it," the saboteur said, continuing to hold the boy despite the drain of maintaining a solid holoform. "Let it all out."

Then, almost as if it had been timed, Jazz's internal communication system pinged, and he fought down the urge to sigh as he realized he was late getting back and that Ratchet was trying to reach him. _::Yeah?::_ he asked, certain he was about to hear an audio-full.

_::Where are you?::_ Ratchet demanded, annoyance practically oozing across the comms. _::You should have returned to base by now!::_

_::I'm kinda busy at the moment.::_

_::Doing what, might I ask?::_

_::I'm holdin' a human.::_

The line fell silent, and for a moment, Jazz feared that the medic might have blown a circuit. Finally, the CMO reestablished contact, and said, _::What do you mean you're holding a human?::_

The saboteur fought down another sigh. _::Exactly what I said, Ratchet. Ya gettin' a glitch in your audios in your old age?::_

Even though he could not see it, Jazz could tell that Ratchet had most likely smacked his palm over his optics. Finally, the medic replied, muttering, _::Smart-aft…okay, _why_ are you holding a human?::_

_::I found him standin' on the bridge. He was gonna offline himself, but I managed ta get him ta stop without revealin' what I am,::_ Jazz explained. _::He's not hurt…but he's very upset. I'm gonna stay with him a bit, make sure he gets home okay.::_

Ratchet sent back a wordless assent, and then the link closed, leaving Jazz alone with the boy once more. He was still crying, but his sobs had subsided a great deal, and while Jazz would have let the boy finish weeping, the problem was that he was running dangerously close to the limit of maintaining a solid holoform, and it wouldn't do to scare the kid even further by turning into a "ghost".

Before the saboteur could say or do anything, the young man finally remembered where he was and what he was doing. He pulled away and flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of one hand.

"Don' worry about it," Jazz calmly replied. "It's hard holdin' pain in like that. It don' make ya any less of a me-man for feelin' it." He turned and gestured back to his silver Pontiac Solstice alt form. "C'mon, I'll give ya a ride home, and ya can tell me about what's goin' on. Your parents have gotta be worryin' 'bout ya by now."

The teen shook his head, but still followed Jazz and climbed in the passenger seat. "No…they don't know I'm gone," he explained. "My dad works overnight, and I waited until my mom was asleep before I left. They won't know until he gets home in the morning."

"Well, with a lil' luck, maybe we can get ya home without ya gettin' inta too much trouble," Jazz said, smiling slightly. He pretended to turn the key and shift himself into gear, and then looked over at the boy and said, "Where to, kid?"

The young man rattled off an address, and then added, "My name's Danny."

"Nice ta meet ya, Danny. I'm James." The Solstice sped up and they left the bridge. "So…why dontcha tell me about what happened?"

…

By the time the two of them pulled up to Danny's house, Jazz was feeling fairly livid. On the way there, Danny told him about how he was often bullied at school by his peers, because of his awkward appearance and his good grades. "That was normal though," the boy had sadly explained. "I could deal with the bullying, but Carla…she really hurt me."

At Jazz's prompting, Danny went on to explain that Carla was one of the "pretty girls", who he had had a crush on since the sixth grade, but had never noticed him. Then, one day, out of the blue, she started hanging out with him and the two became a couple. The few friends the boy had tried to warn him that something was wrong, but he refused to think of the possibility that Carla was just using him. Danny found out differently a few months later, when he had overheard a couple of his classmates talking about his girlfriend, wondering how she could stand to be around him, and that she was going to drop him as soon as the semester was over and she got her A. Distraught, Danny confronted Carla about it, only to have her turn on him and verbally tear him apart in front of everyone in the cafeteria.

After she finished tearing his dignity to tiny shreds, she had laughed in his face and told him that he should be grateful that she let him down so easily, and then walked off, leaving him to the ridicule of his classmates. "And I didn't know what else to do," Danny said, weeping again. "Everyone was laughing like it was the funniest thing ever, and the names they used to call me came back, worse than ever, and it just HURTS inside! I'm just tired of it hurting all the time."

"What about the teachers? Didn' any of 'em say anythin'?" Jazz asked incredulously.

Danny sadly shook his head. "No…the teachers never say anything, unless someone actually hits someone else, or the N-word or 'fag' are involved. They don't care."

"Now I find that hard ta believe," the saboteur stated disbelievingly. "There's gotta be at least ONE person there ya can talk with."

"Well, there is Mrs. Braxton, my chemistry teacher…but I don't like bothering her. I don't want her to worry more than she already does."

"Yeah, but I bet she'd feel even worse if ya died, when she coulda done somethin' to help. If ya can talk ta her, then ya should. Even if she can't help ya directly, she might know someone else who can."

Danny gaped at "James" in surprise, but then quickly dropped his gaze. "I hadn't thought about that," he muttered, staring down at his knees.

"That's okay. It's hard ta think straight when you're hurtin'," Jazz replied.

"But…what if Mrs. Braxton can't help me?" the boy asked, sounding almost afraid of the answer.

"Then ya keep fightin'." When Danny started to protest, Jazz held up a hand to silence him. "Now, I don' mean fightin' with your fists or anythin' like that…I'm talkin' 'bout not givin' up. It don' sound like much, but think about it: if ya give up, if ya kill yourself, then everyone pickin' on ya wins. Do ya really want 'em ta know they beat you that easily?"

"No!" Danny hissed angrily, clenching his hands into fists.

"Then don' let 'em! It'll be hard, but don' let em break ya." Jazz's fierce expression quickly shifted to a wicked smile. "Besides, in ten years, Carla and all the other 'hot' people won't be so hot anymore."

Danny couldn't help but laugh at that…the first laugh he'd had in what felt like an eternity. He quickly sobered up again, though, and looked over at Jazz. "James…thank you."

"No problem, man," the saboteur replied, his smile now friendly instead of menacing. "Now, ya think ya can get back inside without your mom wakin' up?"

Danny nodded and got out of the car, shutting the door quietly behind him. "Yeah, she's usually a heavy sleeper, so I should get back to my room without a problem."

"Good. Now don't forget, talk ta Mrs. Braxton tomorrow, and in the meantime, don't give up, all right?"

The boy nodded again, and turned and crept up the walkway to his house. Once he was safely inside, Jazz smiled inwardly and left, heading back toward the base. _::Yo, Hatchet! I'm on my way back!::_ he called out on the comms.

_::What have I said about calling me that?::_ Ratchet irritably snapped. The annoyance quickly faded and was replaced by concern. _::What about the human you picked up? Is he all right?::_

_::Yeah, I got him back home, and I think he's gonna be just fine.::_


End file.
